Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
