so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's not a walk of shame if you run
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
