Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
