that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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