he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
