Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
