And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
