i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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