A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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