Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
it's like heaven, but drunker
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
