No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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