Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
