in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
