they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
