Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
