Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
