brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
