so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
sex in a hospital.. check
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
