did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
