you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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