I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You ate ashes out of my bong
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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