; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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