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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Oh God

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  "bouncy castle"

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Ew! He's just a child!

  (361): View more from Texas

  AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea

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• (530): View more from California

  Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.

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• (716): View more from New York

  You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.

  (315): View more from New York

  Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive

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• (425): View more from Washington

  He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....

  (713): View more from Texas

  You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.

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