You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
