dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
