im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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