i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
