Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you would pick up someone in the library
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
