Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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