I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
