I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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