So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
