I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Still dying that you shit outside
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
