He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We just shotgunned beers for America
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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