I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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