Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
