belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
