Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you would pick up someone in the library
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
