yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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