Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
