haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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