Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
