so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
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He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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