Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
