Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
