i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
