Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
