We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
