Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
