every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
